We all can learn from the controlled chaos of the Emergency Room
I don’t wish anyone to go to the medical emergency room. It feels like a lottery. Some of us experience our worst day ever, and others get news that will change the rest of their lives.
I admit, though, that I don’t regret my recent visit to the local ER. It simply felt like a condensed version of humanity—the kind of environment where every encounter counts and any decision made has exacerbated consequences.
Let me reassure you first: I’m fine! They released me after a few X-Ray sessions and a procedure. Yet, I can tell you that I won’t be eating Lamb Kabob with wood splinters that get stuck in my throat anytime soon!
It was painful but earned me the right to spend 6 hours in this parallel world of ER. Emergency Room dynamics should be a case study for every leadership course. Here are the top three lessons I learned during my short stay there:
#1 - Master difficult conversations.
As business leaders, we tend to struggle with difficult conversations. Soon, our lack of decisiveness leads to a growing pile of challenges. We think issues will sort out themselves, and things will improve. Well, in most cases, things get worse. And, we end up carrying the weight of an underperformer and toxic culture.
Most leaders are proactively addressing underperformance and tend to start with empathy to solve challenges. It’s a great way to be in someone else’s shoes. Yet, by doing so, they end up over-indexing on how people feel and can lose sight of why they’re having a difficult conversation in the first place.
I’ve seen none of these issues in my stay at the Emergency Room! The nurses and the doctors must have practiced the art of effective communication.
In my simple case, it was like: “We have analyzed your X-rays and didn’t see any conclusive obstruction. We recommend you undergo endoscopy to add certainty to the diagnostic. There’s a chance in 1,000 for a complication that would require further hospitalization. Do you have any questions about this?”
In the business world, when interacting with a team member who didn’t do all of his/her homework on a project, it could translate as: “I have read your analysis on why our product A is underperforming. I’m concerned I do not really see enough of the root causes. I recommend you consult with our marketing team to form a complete view of the situation at hand. There’s a small likelihood they will push back and escalate, but we need to get the situation under control. Tell me what you think.”
I trust you get the notion: know how to observe without judging, rationalize without (too much) feeling, and request without demanding.
#2 - Don't be a jerk. Listen and be Kind.
I commend the whole ER staff for how they’re dealing with patients. People come to the Emergency Room in various emotional and physical states. I heard some of them yelling at the nurse for the long wait times or just refusing to go with a proposed procedure. Eventually, ER professionals know how to put up with all that because they understand patients’ vulnerability. People are just sharing their fear that something’s wrong with them. They need someone who listens intently.
Active listening must also come with rational compassion. It is truly one of the fascinating aspects of the ER. Psychologist Paul Bloom coined this term in his essays, highlighting the difference between empathy and rational compassion. He noted:
“Empathy is feeling what others feel whereas compassion is simply caring for people, [and] wanting them to thrive.”
Translating this into the business world, the most successful leaders I’ve worked with are the ones who genuinely try to understand their team members and what’s going on in their minds. They keep the pulse on how their team is doing and do so consistently.
As importantly, they don’t take things too personally and are not too affected by the roller coaster of their teams’ feelings. They care for them and want them to succeed. When done right, there’s a more substantial chance it will be reciprocal and maximize your chances of success.
#3 Don't put things off. Execute the vision.
It just took a few hours in ER to remind me that nothing’s for granted.
The bus you get under, the stroke that hits you, that aneurysm that ruptures. You simply never know what life has in store for you.
I’m no exception, and most people who make it through the emergency room shift their perspective on things. They realize they have little control over the bigger scheme. So, they start acting on their lifestyle, on that dream hobby they’ve always wanted or that family trip they kept postponing.
Similarly, the best business leaders keep the ER dynamics in mind. As such, they know that nothing is for granted, and they have to embrace the unexpected. There’s so much outside their control. At the same time, they put things in perspective and elevate from the daily grind. They achieve a state of controlled chaos and focus on essential questions, such as:
- What’s our vision and mission?
- Why does our business even exist in the first place?
- What key goals are we trying to achieve?
- What legacy do we want this team to leave?
Don't wait before it's too late.
You don’t have to spend any time in the ER to verify my findings! Just step back and think of how you can improve your leadership by keeping these three dimensions in mind:
- To handle difficult conversations, know how to observe without judging, rationalize without (too much) feeling, and request without demanding.
- Know how to listen intently and practice “rational compassion” to show you care and want your team to succeed.
- Don’t let the unknown put things off. Control the chaos and elevate from the daily grind by staying focused on the vision.
Many of our business challenges are trivial compared to the ones people face every day when fighting for their lives. So, take your leadership to the next level now, and if you ever feel stuck, reach out to me tanguy@theproductsherpa.com. Let the Sherpa be your guide.
Great post…it’s so helpful to see real life situations that model universal truths! Awesome subject line to get a lot of opens…but I’m sure glad you are ok!