A few years ago, I witnessed a significant misalignment between Bob, our CEO, and John, the sales leader, at a rather large meeting (about thirty of us on the call).
I mean, the embarrassing moment when you wish you hadn’t heard what was said.
Bob vehemently expressed how he believed John was wrong and essentially “stabbed” him. Most remarks were well-founded, but was it a reason to expose the whole group to it? It took a toll on John’s reputation, and nothing would be the same. Eventually, John left the Company.
Was Bob ill-advised? Quite certainly.
After all, any good manager knows the rule: “Praise in public, criticize in private.”
But I’ve also learned to appreciate the nuances behind such a rule and the need to establish a common framework to handle it at a company level.
When I was at Plantronics, one book, which soon became a “highly-recommended” read, helped us make noticeable progress: Radical Candor by Kim Scott.
In a nutshell, the author is promoting the idea that leaders should show genuine concern for their team members as human beings while giving them clear, specific, and actionable feedback to help improve their performance without judging their character.
Like everything, radical candor requires a proper dosage. In other words, you shouldn’t be too aggressive or passive – aka obnoxious aggression and ruinous empathy.
With radical candor in mind, you can effectively bend the “Praise in public, criticize in private” rule. Here are a few examples:
Praise in Private
I remember one of my team members who found it highly embarrassing to be praised in public. She was a stellar performer, and I wanted to recognize her contributions. So I considered her personal preferences and moved to private praise. She felt energized by the approach and thanked me for that.
Self-Criticism
I also tried to adjust the ways our teams were learning from mistakes. The notion was to build a culture of self-criticism. To make people more comfortable with it, I would often start group conversations with my self-criticism, how I missed some key elements, and what I learned from it, encouraging others to do the same. Honestly, it wasn’t that easy. It takes considerable effort to undo a culture of self-promotion and fear of failure.
Criticize the Boss
Kim Scott recommends other approaches where you can bend the rule: like encouraging team members to criticize their leader in their team meetings. It allows the leader to appreciate better what’s top of mind for the team. Also, it helps address at once an issue many might be thinking of.
So, the “Praise in public, criticize in private” rule – while excellent guidance – is not absolute.
And if you haven’t read it yet, I invite you to explore Kim Scott’s book Radical Candor or get your hands on one of the summaries.
It will help you build a culture where everyone cares personally and challenges directly.