I usually don’t remember my dreams.
The only recurring ones that seem to stick are picturing me, flying endlessly among albatrosses above roaring seas, with a smile on my face.
I love these!
But that latest dream I experienced was different. Or should I call it a nightmare?
I was suffering from an unknown and debilitating illness. After visiting multiple doctors, the unanimous advice was to go into surgery, behead me – yes cutting off my head! – see what was going on, and stitch it all back together.
As one can imagine, I was extremely dubious about the effectiveness of the approach!
I resisted, escaped the hospital, and ran away on busy streets until they eventually found me and brought me back to the surgery room.
And then… I woke up!
Now, you might wonder where I’m taking you.
Although this nightmare is quite extreme and I’m glad I challenged the recommendations, it reminded me that too many of us still tend to accept too liberally the advice they receive.
Heard a great tip? They’ll jump on it. They’ll take well-presented ideas as good advice.
The financial and corporate worlds are excellent illustrations. They’re full of advisors and “experts” who keep providing advice on what worked in a particular context at a given time.
Worst of all, these advisors generally don’t take responsibility. If you fail, something is different with you. You should have known better.
So whom should you trust? How do you discern good from wrong information?
Guess what? I won’t give you any advice here!
Instead, let me share a few personal principles that keep working well for me on big life and business decisions.
Knowing My Biases
If I agree with someone else, does it make it true? Not really! We’re all conditioned by the environments we’ve lived in, the people we met, and the teachings we learned. So when I see I’m starting to align with an idea, I turn suspicious.
Understanding the Why.
Whether I agree or disagree with an idea, I’m trying to articulate why. By doing so, I start challenging my biases and their influence on my thinking. Particularly helpful is for me to dig into why someone would have a radically different perspective.
Going Beyond Good Intentions
Most advisors have good intentions. They sincerely want to help. Yet, they cannot connect all of the dots for me. So, whenever I receive advice, I dig deeper— trying to get as much data and context as possible.
Focusing on Outcomes
There’s a reason why we tend to hear more about failures than success stories. There are way more failures. So, whenever I receive advice, I try to understand which outcome the advisor reached when facing a similar situation. Then, I can apply my lens based on my experience, values, and intended results.
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Interestingly, I had started applying these principles in my latest dream. I was able to discern the good from the bad and still had my head on my shoulders when I suddenly woke up!
I will likely never know how that dream ends. But I’m thankful it allowed me to share with you some personal principles close to my heart.
It will hopefully help you with how you approach any piece of advice you receive and give.