Do you know the most important event for your team members?
It’s not the rather useless annual reviews. It’s not the company’s holiday parties either.
No, the most critical event is one that should happen every single week.
It’s the 1:1 meeting with their manager.
Interestingly, this is one of the most dreaded and misunderstood interactions.
Too often, the manager and their team member fall into the trap of reviewing status against goals or projects. Soon enough, the meeting turns into a one-way interrogation on what’s getting off-course and what new tasks should be assigned. Ongoing business or project reviews are better ways than 1:1s to assess status and performance!
Other times, the 1:1 turns into a sterile conversation because it’s just supposed to happen, but nobody gave it proper thought.
Yet, if you get it right, the 1:1 will fuel your team’s success.
As a leader, I’ve always considered 1:1s as the best investment I could make in my direct reports. They’ve been the unique opportunity to connect on higher-level challenges, dig deeper, and build trust.
That’s all very nice, but you might still wonder how to turn these 1:1s into such powerful meetings!
There’s not one single way of going about these 1:1s, but let me share the most effective way I’ve found to start every conversation.
It’s a deceptively simple question, yet it leads to a rich dialog on what truly matters.
The question I’d start with is: “What’s Top of Mind?”
Their answer could be whatever: a significant issue, a creative idea, a personal challenge.
I usually would not offer advice or try to solve the problem. But I would use this first question as the opportunity to dig deeper with follow-up questions, keeping them as open-ended and probing as possible.
Conversation after conversation, I built the level of trust needed for the team to proactively come to me with impactful topics. They used me as a sounding board for critical thinking. I got better insights. We all won.
And more often than not, they’d leave these 1:1s with a clearer sense of how to address their top issues without having me do any command and order.
So yes, successful 1:1s will allow you to connect on a more personal level and build trust. As a leader, your active listening and rational compassion will make the difference, and soon enough, everyone will reap the benefits.
You know now the one question you should start you next 1:1 with. Just say it and let great things come out of it!